First of Spears Read online

  It seemed like she barely moved, but Lily missed and tripped over Claire's foot as the latter sidestepped. Claire caught her by the belt before she could fully fall, pulled her upright but jerked her backward so that she went stumbling away. Before she could regain balance, Claire swatted the sword from her hand with her haft. The lady knight thrust her speartip at her cook's throat, halting just before she would have pierced it. "Match."

  Theo blinked. "Erm... is this how you normally train her?" She hadn't hurt Lily, but if their sparring always went like that, it would be a little discouraging. Even Gunther back in the day had given Theo a chance to try some offense.

  "I turned it up a bit just now. You clearly told her to go all out to try and surprise me, when I'm injured for that matter, so I'd hardly treat it exactly like a usual session."

  "I'm sorry if I put you at risk," Lily said, "of course I didn't mean to harm you. I just wanted to show how I've improved. But I guess I haven't that much." Her gaze fell with embarrassment.

  "I didn't mind you trying to push me." Claire nudged Lily's chin up to look at her. "You shouldn't be ashamed. I was impressed. Your greater confidence alone makes me happy. I only responded the way I did, to remind you not to get too confident."

  Lily wore a bashful expression. "Of course I wouldn't. I know I'm nowhere even close to Theo, let alone you. I feel like I can fight now, though—really fight, and not just swing and pray like I used to."

  Claire turned to Theo. "You did a good thing." She placed a hand over the left side of her chest. "I thank you from the bottom of my heart. It seems like you're a better trainer than me, then."

  "You were too easy on her. You can probably teach her more than I could now that she's willing to learn."

  "Still, you're the one who opened the gates. You deserved our thanks."

  "Thank you again," Lily said.

  Theo smiled. "You can show your gratitude by keeping in touch. Let's exchange letters all right? I want us to stay friends."

  "I want to stay friends too," Claire replied. "Since it's a mutual desire of ours, it can't be used as repayment for your aid... so I owe you for another time."

  "You don't need to repay me, I wanted to do it."

  "I suppose Lily's cute enough to want to help even if not for my sake."

  "The world can always use more traveling female cooks who can fight."

  Both girls giggled. Theo escorted them as far as the stables. They mounted their steeds, Claire's slight difficulty doing so making him feel for her, and bid him farewell. "Take care of yourself, Prince," Claire said with a playful salute.

  "You too, First of Spears. I hope we'll meet again soon."

  "I don't know about soon—but I do hope to see you again."

  #

  After Claire left, Theo upped his training. He asked Gunther, whose harshness he once complained about, to work him even harder to bring out his potential. When Gunther asked why he did this after a particularly intense spar, he said between gulps of air, "So I can better defend... this country, and represent it as a warrior."

  His keen swordmaster chuckled knowingly. "Maybe, but I suspect your more immediate concern is matching up to that girl."

  "Well, it's not very inspiring for a prince of Egrent to be clearly worse than some knight of another land." Although, he wasn't sure how much Gunther could help him reach her level. Some said now even the king's champion couldn't have beaten the triplets like she had, and wouldn't be a match for her. That quite annoyed Gunther.

  "She is hardly just 'some knight' and we both know it. Her talents are extraordinary; if only we'd had time to test our arms against each other."

  "So you want to prove you can be a worthy opponent for her too?" Theo grinned. "Maybe after I get a bit better, we can duel for a chance to challenge her."

  "You're still a long way from being able to take me."

  "I know. That's why we should work hard to close the gap!"

  Gunther slapped his chest, almost knocking him over. "I'd be proud to have a student finally surpass me. So even if your reasons are odd, I'll do my best to aid you."

  Because the spear wasn't Gunther's best weapon, Theo also sought out additional help. He hired a new training partner in Dru the Forlorn, the gangly middle-aged man who held the most fame as a spear wielder in Egrent. It was disappointing to discover he wasn't on par with Gunther, for Theo could already beat him sometimes. If only Egrent was a bigger country, with access to more top notch warriors. Still, Dru had some knowledge of esoteric spear techniques Gunther lacked, and Theo didn't consider time sparring with him completely wasted. He did notice himself improving. He grew ever more comfortable battling against the spear, and closer to beating Gunther—granted, mainly when he had Gunther fight him using a spear. He longed to test his new ability against Claire, even if he wasn't confident he could win yet. His family didn't bring her up often, but his mother gave him disapproving looks whenever she caught him going to or returning from his increased training and his father sometimes did too. They knew what he was thinking.

  As much as he kept finding excuses to delay it, he couldn't put off seeing Sophie forever. His mother finally cornered him into agreeing to visit her in Thombele, and he found himself riding over gently rounded hills towards the earl's manor atop a seaside cliff. At least he would soon see his friend Rob. The pasty-faced young noble, always pale no matter how much time he spent outdoors, was the first to greet him before the tall gates of the wall surrounding the residence. "Must have spotted me coming a mile away, eh?" he called as he approached. "This would be the last place to fear a surprise attack."

  "Maybe, but by the time the enemy came here the country would probably be lost or all but. So it might just be a matter of time before..."

  Theo dismounted before leading his horse through the portal, a common courtesy in Egrent as only those with ill intent rode inside another's home. At least, that was what tradition had said ever since Darius' great-great-grandfather was lanced to death in his banquet hall during Ailune's prior invasion. "Pessimistic as always, I see. Are your parents home?"

  They walked together towards the house. "No, they're away on business at the island of Merdest."

  "That's good. At least they won't be here to try and pressure me into finalizing the marriage."

  Rob waved his arms in a flustered gesture. "Why do you dislike my sister so much anyway? She's not as bad as you seem to think."

  "I've told you before, it's not that I think she's a bad person. She just isn't interesting to me. I'm sure plenty of other men out there would find her a perfectly suitable wife."

  "Sure, but you're the one who's betrothed to her. You'll end up marrying her. It's your fate."

  "Again with the pessimism." Theo looked sidelong at him. "And what's with the fancy pants 'fate' talk?"

  Rob snickered. "After hearing the tales of your lusting after a fabulous warrior maiden and dreams of winning her heart in battle, I figured you would appreciate words that harken back to the grand sagas."

  "Not when they're used to imply an inescapable destiny together with Sophie the Boring."

  "She's pretty upset by those stories," Rob said, taking on a serious tone. "She's afraid you'll run off with your First of Spears and leave her a laughingstock."

  "A prince run off? That only happens in fanciful sagas." Although, it was tempting now that he imagined it. But it didn't seem realistic.

  "You should reassure her of that, then. I don't like seeing my sister sad."

  But was it okay to see him sad? Theo thought so to himself, but didn't say it. Their undesirable relationship wasn't really Sophie's fault. He supposed no harm would come of comforting the girl for now, even if he didn't intend for them to be together in the long run. Rob led him inside to the dining hall where she waited at the long table. "Hello, Theo," she said, looking up with sweet innocent eyes while her brother left them. Sometimes she didn't seem so unappealing, he admitted, and she was pretty good at choosing loose dresses to hide her
bulky figure. But then he thought about Claire and he chided himself for his strange thoughts. Why settle for decent when there was much better out there for him?

  "How have you been doing, Sophie?"

  "My health is fine. Did you like the flowers I sent you?"

  They had been rather squished and dry. He couldn't blame her for that either though, considering her father's messenger had delivered them and things happened during transport. "They were nice. Pretty."

  "How did you find their smell?"

  He paused. "Uh, they smelled good."

  Her face fell, and he knew his attempt at deceit had failed. "You didn't even smell them, did you?"

  "I forgot," he said lamely.

  "I bet you did. I bet I know why, too."

  It actually hadn't been because of Claire. Seeing the flowers all crushed and withered, he had assumed testing their scent wouldn't be worthwhile and promptly thrown them out. But he could understand why she'd think that. "The flowers were destroyed by the time they got to me. I figured them to be trash."

  "You just said they were pretty."

  "I lied."

  Sophie's eyes narrowed, not so sweet now. "Even if you can admit to that, how am I to know what exactly you were lying about?"

  So she could show some fire after all. He had never seen her mad before. Still, he supposed anyone could feel anger. That alone didn't add much appeal to her. "It was the flowers, not you." Just then he wondered how honest he was really being, though. If they had been crushed flowers from Claire, he probably wouldn't have discarded them so fast.

  "How is she, the First of Spears? Is she prettier than me?"

  "Um, well..." Of course the answer was yes. But her asking it so bluntly threw him off, and he couldn't articulate it.

  "I expect she's more lively, outgoing and well-spoken than me, yes?"

  "If you say-"

  She sighed, then shocked him further with her next words. "It's understandable. I can hardly expect a prince to judge me worthy of him."

  Theo felt bad, much worse than he would have expected to hearing someone sum up his own thoughts to him. "I'm sorry. I know you don't deserve this. But I don't deserve it either. We should both be free to choose who we love, don't you think? I doubt you want a person like me, who doesn't appreciate you."

  "You're wrong about that. You say we should be able to choose who we love, but we really can't. You're the one I love."

  His jaw dropped. "What?! But I never..." Never showed affection for her. Never acknowledged her more than he would a stranger he happened to be spending time with. How could she love him? He hadn't earned her love. He didn't deserve it.

  Sophie smiled sadly. "You're the one I've wanted to spend my life with for as long as I can remember. Just because the engagement wasn't our choice doesn't mean the feelings that develop from it aren't real. I love you."

  This was so awkward, and sudden, he could scarcely believe it was happening. But if she felt free to be brutally honest, he should too. "I... I don't love you, though. I don't want to hurt you, but that's just the truth."

  "It's all right. It isn't wrong of you not to have me in your heart. Such things can't be forced. But maybe after we get married, you'll learn to love me."

  He had been starting to find her reasonable. Yet even accepting he didn't love her, she still wished to proceed with their marriage. "Why, though? Why do you want to force an unnatural union between us?"

  "It isn't unnatural simply because you don't like it. This choice was made by our parents, who gave us life and protected us when we were small. We should at least respect them enough to give them this."

  "But-"

  "You are being immature. This First of Spears, what do you really know about her? She is beautiful and strong and speaks well, I'm sure, but where do her loyalties truly lie? Does she love you? Would she stand against the world for you?"

  He squirmed. "She, ah, she might not love me right now. But she likes me at least, and I believe I can win her heart. How can you talk like this anyway, saying you love me and would stand against the world for me? You hardly even know me."

  She looked disbelievingly at him. "Hardly... even... know you?"

  "All of our interactions have been very superficial."

  "Theo, we've been talking for years. Just because you didn't intentionally open your heart to me, you think I couldn't get a sense of the person you are after spending all that time with you? Besides, Rob's told me a lot about you."

  "You really think just by talking with me about nothing, and hearing my friend speak of me, you understand me well enough to think we belong together? That you love me even? What if I'm an evil monster who has my servants bring me babies to eat?"

  Sophie rolled her eyes. "You don't need to be so overdramatic about it. My brother only has good things to say about you, and I trust him more than anyone else in the whole world. And I've seen how you wanted to snap at me sometimes when you were in a foul mood, only to bite it back out of kindness. I can feel you're a good person. Plus, there was the time you threw a sword fighting tournament so that poor kid could earn the reward money to buy his sister's freedom."

  "You know I threw that tourney?"

  "Rob told me."

  "Grr... he said he would take it to the grave..."

  She laughed, a high, light sound that didn't match her form. "It must have been quite a blow to your pride to lose after bragging so loudly how you would win with ease. Admirable of you to go through with it."

  "It was nothing. After learning what that boy fought for, how significant is being the laughingstock of the country for a few months in comparison? Besides, I was drunk when I bragged so brazenly. It doesn't count."

  "Well, I found it commendable. The royal pride isn't something to take lightly for most of your standing."

  Her words were a little flattering. He wanted to be a good person, even though it could be hard at times. She didn't know about how Damon had helped him cheat to win another tourney after he hadn't gotten enough sleep and showed up in a sorry state, or how he and Rob stole jewelry from her parents' dresser in revenge after her father told on the boys for tearing a painting while practicing swordplay. Granted, that last had been when they were kids. He wondered if the gems were still there under the rock where they'd hid them.

  "I'm glad you admire my character. But a lot of people are good people. How can that be enough for you to love me?"

  "You are also handsome and athletic, and a prince."

  "That's still not enough in my estimation. Where's the deep understanding between us, the oneness poets speak of? I feel so far apart from you, it seems absurd to even mention the word love in regard to us. Don't you feel far from me?"

  She was silent briefly, then said, "We're bound, so I should love you. And I do."

  "That's not love! That's fooling yourself in order to justify going along with an obligation we shouldn't have."

  "Who are you to define for me what is and isn't love? You said I should be free in choosing who I love, so shouldn't I be free to decide what love means to me too?"

  Theo touched his head, which began to hurt. "But I don't feel the same way... why are you so devoted to fulfilling your 'duty?' Haven't you ever thought maybe the younger generation shouldn't be used as objects to barter with by the earlier one?"

  "Your thoughts are overly young. You will understand things in time."

  "You're the same age as me. Maybe your thoughts are overly old. And I've been exposed to different ways of thinking. You probably think this way because you've only heard what your parents want you to hear."

  "I'm reminded that your knowledge of me is limited." Sophie shook her head vigorously as if to push something from her mind. "What I meant is, don't you think Rob has told me much of the world outside? I've weighed some of these different ways you talk about. I still think our parents' path is correct."

  He groaned. "You're entitled to your opinion." And so, he thought, was he.

  "Remember, our u
nion will maintain a strong relationship between our families."

  "Rob and I are already good friends. Isn't that enough?"

  "Friendships are fleeting. But blood is not. Once you and I have a child-"

  "Enough! Now you're talking children? I've heard enough of this." Theo stormed out of the room. Yet even as he hurried down the hall away from her, he felt as if an invisible chain linking them weighed him down.

  #

  "I take it it didn't go well?" Rob asked upon seeing Theo stomp outside.

  "Not in the least. Even after telling her up front how things are between us, she still wants us to marry."

  "Why wouldn't she? She loves you."

  He shot his friend a harsh look. "That isn't love. Why do otherwise fine people have to be such blindly following sheep..."

  "Her a sheep? After a heart to heart talk like that I thought you'd have realized she's smarter than you assumed."

  "You don't have to be stupid to be a sheep."

  Rob frowned. "But I don't think if you have awareness of your situation that you're a sheep just because... oh, never mind. Let's not make ourselves miserable going back and forth in a pointless argument. Want to go hunting since you're here?"

  Theo perked up with a smile. "Feasting on a fat buck we downed ourselves would raise my spirits some. Let's do it."

  They armed themselves with bows and headed out into the nearby forest, joking and reminiscing about past adventures all the way. So many memories here by the water—them wrestling on the grass atop the cliff, trying to throw stones as far out into the sea as they could, Rob tripping and breaking his tooth on a rock during a wild race. Back then marriage had been far away, and life seemed carefree. Now the jaws of captivity closed in on him. But while the leaves crunched beneath his boots and the wind blew through his hair, he felt free.

  "Imagine if a dark elf was hunting out here with us," Theo said. "Wouldn't that be something?"

  Rob reached down as for his sword, though he didn't actually draw it. "Then we could kill it and be the talk of the kingdom!"

  "Might want to let me get in a few more months or years of training before thinking about that."